matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
