I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
