why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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