i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
