maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
