If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's blow job season.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
