Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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