Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I came so hard my ears popped.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
