you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
