I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
