I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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