I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Randomize
