paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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