ya dads aren't the best wingmen
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
