I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
