She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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