You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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