In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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