I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
