If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
