i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
