She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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