I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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