Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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