Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
