I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
