You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
