its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
