Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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