We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
third nipple confirmed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
