sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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