I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
