All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
