five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
