i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
