): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
