no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Come see our sink grown plant.
it glows. i had to have it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
