She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
