i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
