I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
