I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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