i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
