You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
