I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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