the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
