Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
