just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
