All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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