if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
