I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
