we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We're too hungover to prance.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
