Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
